Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 89
An Unedited Lecture September 29, 1961
EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION
心路课程 第89节: 情绪成长和它的功用
(一)
Greetings, my dearest friends. God bless each one of you. Blessed is this hour.
你们好，我最亲爱的朋友。拥有此时此刻，是一种福祉。
In order to know yourself on a deeper level, it becomes increasingly necessary to allow all emotions to reach surface awareness so as to understand these emotions and to mature them. This has been discussed before, and your individual work points more and more in that direction. Most of you also know the great resistance you have to overcome. Some of you have tasted the difficulties you have to face in order to overcome this resistance. You all stand more or less on different vantage points in this respect. Some of you recognize your own resistance for what it is and consciously battle against it. You recognize the signs. You recognize the evasion and escape mechanism at work. But some of you are still so involved in the resistance itself that you are unaware of the obstructions you put in your way. Hence it is necessary that I discuss the mechanism of this resistance.
为了在更深的层次上认识自己，让所有的情绪到达意识的表面，就已经越来越有必要。这样做，是为了理解这些情绪，并使之成熟起来。这在以前已经讨论过了，你个人的努力也越来越指向那个方向。你们当中的大多数人也知道自己必须克服的巨大阻力。你们中的一些人，已经体验过为了克服这种阻力所必须面对的困难。从这一点来看，尽管你们的情形各不相同，但或多或少你们都居于有利位置。你们中的一部分，已经意识到自己的阻力是什么，并有意识地与之抗争。你能认出它们的征象，你认识到某些逃避机制又在起作用。但是有的人仍然非常深入地与抗拒之力相纠缠，以至于没有意识到你们在自己道路上设置的障碍。因此，我有必要讨论这种抗拒的机制。
In order to understand it, let us first be clear about the unity of the human personality. A human being who functions harmoniously has developed the physical, the mental, and the emotional side of his nature. These three spheres are supposed to function harmoniously with one another, each helping the other rather than one faculty being used in order to subdue the other, as so often is the case. If one function is underdeveloped, disharmony in the entire human structure results, and also a crippling of the entire personality.
为了理解它，让我们首先明确人的人格的统一性或整体性。一个能和谐运作的人已经发展了他本性中身体、精神和情感的各个方面。这三个领域应该和谐地相互作用、相互帮助；而不是像我们经常看到的那样：用一个方面来压制另一个方面。如果一种功能发展不健全，就会导致人的整体结构的不和谐，会导致整个人格的残疾。
This much you know from our previous talks and your own previous findings. Now let us further understand what causes man to particularly neglect, repress, and cripple the growth of his emotional nature. This is universal. Most human beings look after the physical self. They do more or less what is necessary to make it grow and remain healthy. And a good portion of mankind, comparatively speaking, cultivates the mental side. In order to do so, you learn, you use your brain, you use your thinking capacity, you absorb, you train your memory, you train your faculty of logical deduction. All this furthers mental growth.
从我们之前的谈话，和你们自己早先的发现中，你们已经知道这些。现在让我们进一步了解是什么原因导致一个人格外地忽视、压抑并削弱其情感天性的成长。这是普遍存在的现象。大多数人都关心自己的身体，他们或多或少地做了使自己的身体生长和保持健康所必需的事。相对而言，人类中有相当一部分人，培育自己的心智。为了做到这一点，你求学、你使用你的大脑、你使用你的思维能力、你吸收、你训练你的记忆，你训练你的逻辑推理能力；所有这些都促进了心智的成长。
But why then is there a general neglect of man's emotional nature? There are good reasons for that, my friends. In order to gain more clarity about this subject, let us first understand the function of the emotional nature in man. It includes, first of all, the capacity to feel. The capacity to experience feeling is synonymous with the capacity to give and receive happiness. To the degree that you shy away from any kind of emotional experience, to that extent also do you close the door to the experience of happiness. Moreover, the emotional side of your nature, when functioning, contains creative ability. To the degree that you close yourself off from emotional experience, to that very degree is the full potential of your creative ability hindered in manifesting itself. Contrary to what many of you may believe, the unfolding of creative ability is not a mere mental process. In fact, the intellect and the mentality have much less to do with it than may appear at first glance, in spite of the fact that technical skill also becomes a necessity in order to represent the creative outflow and to give it full justice. Creative unfoldment is an intuitive process. And needless to say, intuition can function only to the degree that your emotional life is strong, healthy, and mature.
但是，为什么人们普遍忽视自己的情感本质呢?这是有原因的，朋友们。为了更清楚地了解这个问题，让我们首先了解人的情感本性的功能。首先，它包括感觉的能力。体验感觉的能力等同于给予和接受幸福的能力。在某种程度上，如果你回避情感体验，你也同时关上了体验幸福的大门。此外，你本性当中的情感力在被正常运用时，含藏着创造能力。你将自己与情感体验隔绝到何种程度，你全部的创造潜力在发挥自己时就会受到何等的阻碍。与你们许多人可能会持有的信念相反：创造力的发挥不仅仅是一个头脑的过程。事实上，智力、心态与创造力的关联，并不像它们看起来那么紧密；尽管事实上技术技能在表现创造力方面也是必要的，它给创造力以完全的公正。创造性的展开是一个直觉的过程。自不必说，直觉所能发挥的作用，与你情绪水平的强大、健康和成熟程度成正比。
Therefore the intuitive powers will be hindered to the degree that you have neglected emotional growth and to the degree that you have discouraged allowing yourself to experience the world of feeling. I repeat, why is there such a predominant emphasis in your world today on physical and mental growth and a predominant neglect of emotional growth? Several general explanations could be advanced, but I would like to go immediately to the root of the problem by-passing the outer, general causes which are only symptoms of the root anyway.
因此，如果你忽视了情绪的成长，如果你不鼓励自己去体验情感的世界，你直觉的力量就会受到妨害。我再重复一遍，为什么今天你们的世界如此强调身体和头脑的成长，而忽视情感的成长？我们可以提出几种泛泛的解答，但我想直接触及问题的根源，而不涉及外部的一般性原因，反正这些所谓“原因”仅仅是根源所导致的症状而已。
In the world of feeling, you experience the good and the bad, the happy and the unhappy, pleasure and pain. Contrary to mental registration, such emotional experience really touches you. Since man's struggle is primarily for happiness and since immature emotions lead to unhappiness, his secondary aim becomes the struggle to avoid unhappiness. This creates the early, mostly unconscious conclusion: "If I do not feel, then I will not be unhappy." In other words, instead of taking the courageous and adequate step to live through the negative, immature emotions in order to afford them the opportunity to grow and thus to become mature and constructive, the childish emotions are suppressed, put out of awareness, and buried so that they remain inadequate and destructive even though the person is unaware of their existence.
在感觉的世界里，你经历悲欢苦乐、高兴和哀伤。与心理定格相反，这些情感体验会真的触动你。因为人类的奋斗首要是为了幸福，而不成熟的情绪会导致不幸福，那么人退而求其次，就去努力避免不幸福。这就创生了一个早期的、几乎是无意识的结论：“如果我感觉不到什么，那么我就不会不快乐。” 换句话说，孩子气的情绪被压抑、被排除在意识之外、被深埋，而不是采取勇敢和充分的步骤来经历消极、不成熟的情绪，以便为它们提供成长的机会，从而变得成熟和有建设性，所以即便人没有意识到这些情况的存在，它们却始终保留在那里，没有得到发育，并具有破坏性。
In every child's life, unhappy circumstances exist; pain and disappointment exist. The less concisely that such pain and disappointment is a conscious experience, and the more it lies in a vague, dull climate that you cannot even put your finger on and is just something to be taken for granted, the greater is the danger that unconsciously the resolution will be made: "I must not allow myself to feel if I wish to prevent the pain and the experience of unhappiness."
每个孩子的生活中，都会有痛苦的情形发生。痛苦和失望是存在的。越是不能够直截了当地使痛苦和失望成为一种有意识的体验，它就越会藏身于一个模糊、阴沉之处，使你晕头转向、久之则习以为常；同时你越可能在不知不觉中下这样一个决心：“如果我想要避免痛苦和不快乐，我就不能让自己感觉到什么。”
In the past, we have discussed why this is a wrong conclusion and solution. But I may briefly recapitulate. Although it may be true that you dull your capacity for emotional experience, like in anaesthesia, and therefore cannot feel the immediate pain right now, it is also true that you dull you capacity for happiness and pleasure while not really avoiding the dreaded unhappiness in the long run. That is, the unhappiness you seem to avoid comes to you in a different and much more painful, but indirect way. The bitter hurt of isolation, of loneliness, of the gnawing feeling of having passed by life without experiencing its heights and its depths, without developing yourself to the most and best you can be, is the result of such cowardly evasion, such a wrong solution.
我们早先讨论过为什么这种论点和解决方法是错误的，但我仍可以简单地概括它一下。你压抑你的情感体验的能力，就像在麻醉中，因此可以免于即时地感受到痛苦，这可能是真的；你削弱了你的幸福与快乐的能力，从长远来看，这并不能真正避免你所厌弃的不幸，这也是真的。也就是说，你似乎想要避免的不快乐会以一种别样的、更痛苦的、但间接的方式来到你面前。孤独和它所带来的痛苦，没有经历过人生的高峰和低谷、没有把自己发挥到最好的那种痛苦的感觉，都是这种懦弱的逃避、这种错误的解决办法所导致的后果。
By such evasion, you do not experience life at its fullest. By withdrawing from pain, you withdraw from happiness, and most of all, you withdraw from experience. At one time or another -- you may never remember the conscious intent -- your solution was: "In order to avoid pain, I'll dull my capacity to feel." And from that moment onward, you withdrew from living, loving, experiencing -- from everything that makes life rich and rewarding. In addition, the result is that your intuitive powers are dulled, as well as your creative faculties. You only function to a tiny degree of your potentials. The damage you have inflicted upon yourself with this solution, and go on inflicting upon yourself as long as you adhere to this pseudosolution, is one that eludes your comprehension and evaluation at the present time.
这种逃避，使你无法充分体验生活。远离痛苦，你也就远离了幸福；最重要的是，你远离了体验。有些时候，你也许都不再记得这个你刻意、故意使用的办法：“为了避免痛苦，我将削弱自己的感知力。”从那一刻起，你远离了生活，远离了爱，远离了体验——远离了一切让生活变得丰富和有意义的存在。结果是你的直觉能力以及你的创造力变得迟钝。你仅仅能够发挥自己很小很小的一点点潜力。你的这个解决办法给自己造成的伤害，以及你坚持这个所谓的解决办法将会继续给自己造成的伤害，是你目前无法理解和评估的。
Since this was your defense mechanism against unhappiness to begin with, it is understandable that unconsciously you fight tooth and nail against giving up what seems to you a vital protection. You do not realize that not only do you miss out on life's richness, life's rewards, your own full potentials, but you do not really avoid unhappiness, as already indicated. This painful isolation was not willingly chosen by you, and therefore it is not accepted as a price to be paid. Much rather, it came as a necessary by-product of your pseudosolution. And with this defense mechanism at work, the child in you hopes and fights for receiving what you cannot possibly receive. In other words, somewhere deep inside, you hope and believe that it is possible to belong and to be loved while you dull your world of feeling into a state of numbness and thereby prohibit yourself from truly loving others. Yes, you may need others, and this need may appear as love to you, but now you know that this is not the same. Inside, you hope and believe it possible to have union with others, to communicate in a rewarding and satisfying way with the world around you, while you put up a wall of pseudoprotection against the impact of emotional experience. If and when you cannot help but feel, you are busy hiding such feelings from yourself and others. How can you receive what you yearn for -- love, belonging, communication -- if you neither feel nor express the occasional glimpses of feelings that the still healthy part in you strives for? You cannot have it both ways, and the child in you never wants to accept that.
既然这是你一开始对不快乐的防御机制，那么可以理解的是，你会在不知不觉中拼命地保住这种对你来说至关重要的防护。你没有意识到的是，你不仅错过了生命的丰富、生活的馈赠、你自己全部的潜力，而且你也并没有真正地避免不幸，就像前面提到的那样。这种痛苦的孤立不是你自愿选择的，因此你也不接受它，不接受它作为你需要付出的一种代价；更确切地说，它是“伪解决方案”的一个必要副产品。在这种防御机制的作用下，你内在的小孩希望并努力争取得到你不可能得到的东西。换句话说，在内心深处，你希望，并且相信，当你把自己的情感世界变得麻木，从而禁绝自己真正去爱别人的时候，你是有可能与他们谐和并得到爱的。是的，你可能需要别人，这种“需要”对你来说也许就是爱，但现在你知道，这两者判若云泥。在内心深处，你希望并相信自己有可能与他人一体，以一种有益的、令人满意的方式与周围的世界交流，但同时你筑起了一堵伪劣的保护墙，以防止情感体验的影响。当你情不自禁地去感受时，你也在忙着向自己和他人掩饰这种感觉。如果你既没有感觉到、也没有表达出你身体中仍然健康的部分所追求的惊鸿一瞥的感觉，你怎么能得到你渴望的东西——爱、归属感、交流？你不可能兼得两者，但你内在的小孩永远不想接受这一点。
Since you "protect" yourself in this foolish manner, you isolate yourself, thus exposing yourself much more to that which you strive to avoid. Hence you miss out doubly. You do not avoid that which you fear -- not really and not in the long run -- and you miss out on all you could have if you would not run away from living. For living and feeling are one. The love and fulfillment you must increasingly crave for makes you blame others, circumstances, the fates, or bad luck, instead of seeing how you are responsible for it. You resist such insight because you sense that the moment you see it fully, you will have to change, and you can no longer cling to the comfortable but unrealizable hope that you can have what you want without fulfilling the necessary conditions to get it. If you want happiness, you must be willing to give it. How can you give it if you are unwilling and unable to feel to the degree of your capability? Realize that it is you who caused this state of unfulfillment, and it is you who can still change it, regardless of your physical age.
因为你用这种愚蠢的方式“保护”自己，你孤立了自己，从而使自己更多地遭遇到你努力避免的境遇。因此，你蒙受着双重的损失。你无法真正地或是长久地避免你所害怕的东西：你害怕如果自己不逃离生活，你就会错过你能够拥有的一切。因为生活和感觉是一体的。你越来越渴望得到的爱和满足感会使你去责怪别人、环境、命数或坏运气，而不是看到你应该如何负责任。你抗拒拥有这种洞察力，因为你同时也意识到，一旦你看到它的全貌，你就必须改变，你不能再执着于那种让人舒服但无法实现的希望，即你可以在不去满足必要条件的情况下得到你想要的东西。如果你想要快乐，你必须乐于给予快乐。如果你不愿意也无力尽自己所能去感受，你怎么能给予？你要意识到，是你铸就了这个残局，而且同样是你，有力量改变它，无论你的身体年龄是多大。
（二）
Another reason for resorting to this unsuccessful pseudosolution is the following. As in everything else, feeling and emotional expression can be mature and constructive or immature and destructive. As a child, you possessed an immature body and mind and therefore also, quite naturally, an immature emotional structure. Most of you gave your body and mind a chance to grow out of the immaturity and to reach a certain physical and mental maturity. You allowed yourself the luxury to grow out of the immature state. Let me give you an example on the physical level. An infant will feel the strong urge to use its vocal chords. This is an instinct with the function that certain organic matter grows through strong use of the vocal chords. While the baby screams, it is not pleasant. It is a period of transition that leads to strong healthy organs in this particular respect. Not going through this unpleasant time by suppressing the instinctual urge to scream would eventually damage and weaken the respective organs. By the same token, the urge to indulge in strong physical exercise has the same function, or the urge, at times, to eat, perhaps more than necessary. All this is part of the growing process. To stop this growing process with the excuse that there exists the danger of overexertion and overeating would be foolish and damaging. I do not mean a reasonable halt to something that is obviously harmful. I mean the mere ceasing to use the muscles at all, to feed the child at all, with the rationalization that such exercise and food, per se, might lead to painful experiences.
采取这种不成功的“伪解决方法”的另一个原因如下：就像别的事情一样，感觉和情感表达可以是成熟和建设性的，也可以是不成熟和破坏性的。作为一个孩子，你曾拥有一个不成熟的身体和头脑，因此，很自然地，你同样拥有一个不成熟的情绪结构。你们中的大多数人，都给了自己的身体和头脑机会，让它们得以走出不成熟，达到某种生理和心理上的成熟，你让自己摆脱了幼稚的状态。让我给你一个生理方面的例子：婴儿会有使用自己声带的强烈冲动，这是一种本能，意在通过激烈地使用声带使有机物质得到生长。但当婴儿尖叫，这声音是让人不愉快的。这是一个过渡时期，它将使得器官发育得强壮而且健康。压抑尖叫的本能冲动、不去经历这种不愉快的过程，最终只会损坏和削弱相应的身体器官。出于同样的原因，沉溺于高强度体育锻炼也是类似功效；再或者有时候吃的东西，可能比你需要的更多，也是这个道理。所有这些都是成长过程的一部分。若以这中间存在着过度劳累和暴饮暴食的危险为借口，来中止这个生长过程，是愚蠢和有害的。我并不是指对明显有害的事情合理叫停，愚蠢的是这一类做法：完全停止使用任何肌肉，或是完全停止给孩子喂食，理由是“锻炼、食物可能会导致痛苦经历”。
Yet the same is done with your emotional self. You stop its functioning as such because you consider the growing transitional period so dangerous that you proceed to atrophy its growth altogether. You do not only hinder excesses by your reasoning process, but you also hinder all the transitory functioning which alone can lead to constructive mature emotions. Since this is more or less the case with every one of you, the period has to be gone through now. It just cannot be skipped altogether. Or if you do, your overall development will be lopsided and therefore your personality structure crippled.
你的情绪自我也是如此。你中止它的运作，因为你觉得这个成长过渡期是如此危险，你干脆让它整个萎缩在那里。你不仅通过自己的推断，来阻止“多余”的行为，你同时也阻断了所有此类行为可能发挥的作用，这些作用本身就可以促成建设性的成熟情绪。这或多或少描述了你们每个人的情况，所以我们必须要把这个阶段经历一遍。它不可以被省略。如果你省略掉它，你的整体发育就会失去平衡，从而导致你的人格结构受损。
When you mature your mental processes, you have to go through transitory periods too. You do not only learn, you are also bound to make your mistakes. In younger years, you often hold opinions which, later, you grow out of. While later you see that these opinions are not as "right" as they seemed to you during your youth, and while even later you see another side that earlier you neglected to see, it was nevertheless beneficial for you to go through these times of error. How could you appreciate truth if you had not gone through error? By avoiding error, you can never gain truth. It strengthens your mental faculties, your logic, your power of deduction, and your range. Without being allowed to make mistakes in your thinking, in your opinions, your mental faculties could not grow.
如果你要让你的头脑成熟起来，你也必须经历过渡阶段。你不仅需要去学习，你也一定会犯错误。少不更事的时候，你经常持有一些观点，但是后来你会放弃它们；因为后来的你发现这些观点并不像你年轻时认为的那样“正确”，再后来你会看到那些被之前的你所忽视的事情的另一面，但经历这些犯错阶段对你还是有益的。如果你没有经历过错误，你怎么能欣赏真理呢？避免失误，也就放弃了真理。试错的过程能增强你的心智能力、逻辑能力、推理能力，开阔你的眼界。如果不允许自己在思维和观点上犯错，你的心智就无法成长。
Strangely enough, there is much less resistance in human nature against the necessary growing pains of the physical and mental sides of the personality than there is against the growth of the emotional nature. In this respect, it is entirely overlooked that growing pains are necessary too, and that they are constructive and beneficial. Without consciously thinking about it in these terms, it is believed that the emotional growth process should come about without growing pains. Most of the time, it is altogether overlooked that this area exists at all, let alone that it needs growth and how such growth is accomplished. You who are on this path ought to begin to understand this most thoroughly. If you do, your resistance to remaining stale in this respect, to remaining deadened and dulled, will finally give way, and you will no longer object to going through a period of growth now.
奇怪的是，人性中，对人的身体和头脑成长所需要的痛苦的抗拒，远比对情感天性的成长之痛的抗拒要轻微。从这个角度来看，成长之痛苦的必要性，是被完全忽略了的。当然，这些痛苦还是建设性的、大有禆益的。如果不是有意识地思考这些问题，人们就会认为，情感的成长过程应该是在没有烦恼的情况下发生的。大多数时候，人们完全忽视了这个领域的存在，更不用说它需要成长、以及如何去实现这种成长之类问题。你们现在走在这条道路上的人，应该开始完全彻底地理解这一点。如果你这样做了，你的抵抗会最终消解，在情绪方面，你将不再固步自封、保持木然和迟钝，你现在将不再反对经历一个成长阶段。
In this growing period, immature emotions have to express themselves. Only as they are allowed expression so that you can understand their meaning and significance will you finally reach a point when you will no longer need such immature emotions. This will not happen by a process of will, by outer mental decision which thereby represses what is still a part of your emotional being, but an organic process of emotional growth will occur wherein feelings will naturally change their direction, their aim, their intensity, their nature. But this can only be done if you experience your emotions as they happen to exist in you now.
在这个成长阶段，尚未成熟的情绪会表达它们自己。只有当你允许它们表达的时候，它们的意味和重要性才能得以被理解，你也才会抵达这样一个节点：你不再需要这些不成熟的情绪。这个过程，不是通过意志发生的，也不是通过头脑决定来实现的，因为既然是“头脑”，它就压抑着属于你情感天性的某些东西;而一个情感成长的有机过程将会发生，在这个过程中，情感会自然地改变它们的方向、目标、强度和性质。但这只有在你如当下它正发生于你自身那样去体验它时才可能实现（“如它所是”地经历情绪）。
When you were hurt as a child, your reactions were anger, resentment, hate -- sometimes to a very strong degree. If you prevent yourself from consciously experiencing these emotions, you will not get rid of them; therefore you will not enable healthy mature emotions to follow suit, but you will simply repress these existing feelings. You bury them and deceive yourself that you do not have what you actually still have. Since you dull your capacity to feel, you become unaware of what exists underneath. Then you superimpose feelings that you think you ought to have but which you do not really and truly have.
在你的童年，当受到伤害的时候，你的反应是怨恨和愤怒，有时候非常强烈。如果你阻止自己有意识地体验这些情绪，你就无法摆脱它们；故而你也就没能使健康、成熟的情绪到来，你只会简单地压抑已有的感觉。你埋葬了他们，然后欺骗自己说，你内心并不存在那些其实真正存在的东西。因为你迟钝了自己的感觉能力，你就无法意识到你的内心深处有什么。然后你又把那些你认为你应该有但却并没有真正有的情绪、感受安在自己身上。
You all operate, some more, some less, with feelings that are not genuinely yours. With feelings you think you ought to have, but do not have. Underneath, something entirely different is taking place. Only in times of extreme crisis do these actual feelings reach the surface. Then you believe it is the crisis that has caused these reactions in you. You wish to ignore the fact that the crisis only made it impossible for you to deceive yourself. And crisis reactivated the still immature emotions. That the crisis itself is the effect of the hidden emotional immaturity itself, as well as of the existing self-deception, just does not want to penetrate your mind.
所有人都或多或少地有一些其实并不真正属于你的感觉。你觉得你应该有某些情绪，但你没有。你内心深处正在发生的，完全是另外一回事。只有在重大危机的时候，这些真实的感觉才会浮出水面。然后你相信是危机导致了你的这些反应。你想忽略这样一个事实：危机只不过使你无法欺骗自己。危机再次激活了那些尚未成熟的情感。危机本身是由隐藏起来的不成熟的情绪，以及自欺所引起，这一点尚未被你了解。
The fact that you merely put the raw, destructive, immature emotions out of sight instead of growing out of them, and then deceive yourself as being a much more integrated and mature person than you actually are, is not only dishonesty, hypocrisy, and self-deception, but it also leads you into more isolation, unhappiness, alienation from yourself, and unsuccessful, unrewarding patterns that you repeat over and over again. The result of all this seems to confirm your pseudosolution, your defense mechanism, but this is a very misleading conclusion.
事实是，你只不过是把原初的、破坏性的、不成熟的情绪转移到视线之外去，而不是从它们那里获得成长；然后你还让自己相信你是一个比实际情况更为调和、成熟的人。这不仅仅是一种虚假、伪善和自欺，它还会让你变得更孤绝、不快乐，以及与自己疏离，还有一遍又一遍重复徒劳无功的、失败的模式。这一切的结果似乎都强化着你的“伪解决方案”和你的防御机制，但这是一个误导性的结论。
The immature emotions have earned you punishment as a child. Either in actuality or by expressing them, an undesired result occurred. Either you lost something you wanted, such as the affection of certain people, for instance; or a desired goal was made impossible when you expressed what you really felt, which then became an additional reason why you hindered self-expression. Consequently as you perceived such emotions to be undesirable, you proceeded to whisk them also out of your own sight. This shows that, on the one hand, you found it necessary to do so because you did not want to be hurt, that you did not wish to experience the pain of feeling unhappiness. On the other hand, you found it necessary to repress existing emotions because the expression of the negative resulted in an undesirable end.
在你小时候，你不成熟的情绪曾导致你受到惩罚。无论是在实际上拥有这些情绪，还是通过表达你的这些情绪，都招致了你不希望有的结果。要么你失去了你想要的东西，比如某些人对你的喜爱；或者，当你表达自己的真实感受时，你想要的目标变得不可能实现，这就成了你阻止自己表达的另一个原因。因此，当你认定某些情绪是不合时宜的，你就开始把它们也从你自己的视线中拂去。这表明，一方面，你觉得这样做是必要的，因为你不想受到伤害，你不想体验到不快乐。另一方面，你发现有必要压抑已有的情绪，因为消极情绪的表达会导致不希望看到的结果。
You might say that because the latter is true, your procedure is therefore valid, necessary, and self-preserving. You will rightly say that if you live out your negative emotions, the world will punish you in one form or another. Yes, my friends, this is true. Immature emotions are indeed destructive and will indeed bring you disadvantages. But your error lies in the thought (conscious or unconscious) that to be aware of what you feel and to give vent to it in action are one and the same. You cannot discriminate between the two courses of action. Nor can you discriminate between (1) a constructive aim in which it is necessary to express and talk about what you feel, at the right place, with the right people; and (2) the destructiveness of heedlessly letting go all control, of not choosing the right aim, the right place, and the right people, of not wanting to use such expression as would gain insight into yourself.
你可能会说，由于后者是千真万确的，所以你的应对步骤是有效、必要和有利于自己的。你可以不失公允地主张，如果把自己的负面情绪发泄出来，这个世界会以这样或那样的方式惩罚你。是的，我的朋友们，这是真的。不成熟的情绪确实具有破坏性，确实会给你带来麻烦。但你的错误在于你有意无意之间这个想法，即把意识到你的情绪，并用行动把它发泄出来当成同一件事。你无法区分这两者：（1）一个建设性的目标，即在合适的场合与合适的人去表达和谈论你的感受，这是必要的，（2）破坏性的处理，不顾一切无所顾及地放纵自己情绪，不去选择妥当的目标、正确的场合和合适的人，也不想从自己的情绪表达中去了解自己。
If you merely let go out of a lack of discipline, without an aim, and then expose negative emotions, it is indeed destructive. But if you distinguish between the constructive and the destructive aims, if you realize the purpose and then develop the courage and humility (1) to allow yourself to be aware of what you really feel and (2) to express it when it is meaningful, you will see the tremendous difference between merely allowing immature and destructive emotions to come to the fore in order to relieve yourself of pressure and give them an outlet without aim or meaning; and the purposeful activity of reexperiencing all the feelings that have once existed in you and that still exist in you (even if you are convinced that this is no longer the case). What has not been properly assimilated in emotional experience, but has instead been repressed, will constantly be reactivated by present situations that remind you in one way or another of what brought on such unassimilated experience in the first place. Such a "reminder" may not be factual. It can be an emotional climate, a symbolic association that lodges exclusively in the subconscious. But as you learn to become aware of what is really going on in you, you will also become aware of such "reminders." You will also become aware that often you actually feel very much the opposite of what you force yourself to feel.
如果你只是因为缺乏自律、没有什么目标，因而显露消极情绪，这确实是破坏性的。但如果你能区分建设性和破坏性的目标，如果你能意识到这个目标，然后养出勇气和谦逊，让自己意识到自己的真实感受并在有意义的时机表达出来，你将会发现，它与在没有目标和意义指导的情况下，仅仅为了释放自己的压力让不成熟的破坏性情绪一涌而出得到发泄，以及有目的地重新体验所有曾经存在于你、现在仍然存在于你的感觉之间，有天壤之别。那些在情感体验中没有被正确消化，而是被压抑掉的东西，会不断地被当前的情形重新激活，这些情形会以某种方式提醒你，最初是什么导致了这种未被消化的体验。这样的“提醒”可能不是实际发生的，它可以是一种情感气氛，一种只存在于潜意识中的象征性联想。但是当你学着去意识到你内心真正在发生什么，你也会意识到这些“提醒”。你同样也会意识到，你实际感受到的，常常与你强迫自己去感觉的东西大相径庭。
As the first few tentative steps are taken in the direction of becoming aware of what you feel and expressing it in a direct way, without finding "reasons and excuses," without rationalizing it, you will gain an understanding about yourself such as you never had before. You will actively feel the growing process at work because you actively participate with your innermost self, not merely with outer gestures. You will not only begin to understand what brought on many undesired results, but how it is in your power to change it. You will also understand the interaction between yourself and others, how your unconscious distorted pattern has affected others in just the exact opposite way than you originally wanted. This will give you an inner understanding about the process of communication.
当你试探着前行，去觉察自己的感受并直接表达出来，不找 “理由和借口”，不辩解，你会对自己有一个前所未有的了解；你会强烈地感受到这个成长的进程，因为你活跃地参与到你内心深处的自我，而不仅仅是外在的姿态。你不但会开始了解导致那些不理想的结局的原因，而且还会了解如何在你的力量范围内改变它。你也将了解你自己和他人之间的互动，你的无意识扭曲的模式又是如何事与愿违地影响到了他人。这会让你对沟通过程有一个更深入的了解。
This is the only way emotions can mature. By going through the period that was missed in childhood and adolescence, the emotions will finally mature, and you will no longer need to fear the power of those of your emotions which you cannot control when you merely put them out of awareness. You will be able to trust them, to be guided by them -- for that is the final aim of the mature and well-functioning person. I might say, that to some degree, it has happened to all of you occasionally. There are times when you allow yourself to be guided by your power of intuition. But it happens more as an exception instead of as a rule. It cannot happen as a rule as long as your emotions remain destructive and childish. They are unreliable in this state. Since you discourage their growth, you live by your mental faculties only -- and they are secondary in efficiency. When healthy emotions will make your intuition reliable, there will be a mutual harmony between the mental and emotional faculties. One will not contradict the other. As long as you cannot rely on your intuitive processes, you must be insecure and lacking in self-confidence. You try to make up for this by relying on others, on false religion. This makes you weak and helpless. But if you have mature, strong emotions, you will trust yourself and thereby find a security you never dreamed existed.
这是情感成熟的唯一途径。通过再度经历童年和青春期错失的那些阶段，情绪最终会成熟，你将不再需要害怕那些被你置之不理因而变得无法控制的情绪的力量。你将能够信任它们，听从它们的指引——因为这是一个成熟、完善的人的终极目标。我可以说，这种情形多多少少曾发生在你们所有人身上。有时候你会允许自己被直觉的力量所引导，但它多数情况下只是例外，不是常态。只要你的情绪仍然具有破坏性、不成熟，它就不会作为一种常态发生。你的情绪在这种状态下是靠不住的。既然你妨害情绪的成长，你就只能依靠自己的智力生活——而智力在效率方面是次等的。当健全的情绪使你的直觉变得可靠，你的智力和情感就会和谐融洽，两不相悖。只要你不能依靠你的直觉，你一定是缺少安全感、缺乏自信的。你试图通过依赖别人、依赖虚假的信仰来弥补这一点，这只会让你懦弱、无助。但如果你有成熟、丰富的情感，你会相信自己，从而找到一种你从未梦想过的安全感。
After the first painful release of negative emotions, you will find a certain relief in the realization that poisonous matter has left your system in a manner that was not destructive for you or for others. After thus having gained insight and understanding, new, warm, good emotions will come out of you that could not express themselves so long as the negative emotions were held in check. You will also learn to discriminate between genuine good feelings and false good feelings that you superimpose out of the need to maintain your idealized self-image: "This is the way I should be." And because you cling to this idealized self-image, you cannot find your real self. And because this is so, you do not have the courage to accept the fact that a comparatively large area of your personality is still childish, incomplete, and imperfect. It falls considerably short of what you want to appear to be. You hold on to the illusion of yourself in the wrong idea, first of all, that if you acknowledge the fallacy, you are thereby destroyed. You never realize that this is the first necessary step to destroy your destructive processes and to build the real solid self that will stand on firm ground. For only in the mature emotions, the courage to make this maturity and growth possible, will you gain the security within yourself you so ardently hunt for elsewhere. You constantly reach for false solutions in order to create an illusion of a security that can be pulled from under your feet at the slightest provocation because it is unreal.
在第一次痛苦地释放负面情绪之后，当你意识到有害的东西已经以一种对你或他人都没有破坏性的方式离开了你的系统时，你会发现某种解脱。在你由此获得了洞察力和理解之后，新的、温暖的、好的情绪就会出来；如果你抑制消极的情绪，这些好情绪就无法显现。你也将学会区分真正的好感觉和假的好感觉，这些假的感觉是你为了维持理想化的自我形象而强加给自己的，“我就应该是这样的”。因为你执着于这种理想化的自我形象，你就找不到真实的自我。正因为如此，你没有勇气接受这样一个事实：你的人格中有相当大的一部分仍然是幼稚、不完整、不完美的。它与你想要的形象相去甚远。你在错误的想法中坚守自己的幻觉，你以为，如果你承认这里面的荒谬，你就完了。你从来没有意识到，这恰是终结你的破坏性过程，建立真正的、坚实的自我并站稳脚跟的必要的第一步。因为只有在成熟的情感中，在你有勇气使这种成熟和成长成为可能时，你才能在自己内心获得你在别处热切寻觅的安全感。过去为了创造一种安全的假象，你不断地寻求错误的解决办法，而这种安全感可以在最轻微的刺激下轰然倒地，因为它是不真实的。
So, build your security. You have nothing to fear out of becoming aware of what is already in you, anyway. By looking away from what is, it does not cease to exist. Therefore it is wise on your part to want to look at, to face, and to acknowledge that which is in you -- no more and no less! To believe it harms you more to know what you feel and are, than not to know, is extremely foolish. Yet, to some degree, that is exactly what you all do. That is the nature of your resistance to accepting and facing yourself. Only after facing what is in you will your much more mature intellect be able to make the decision as to whether these inner behavior patterns are worth keeping or not. You are not forced to give up what seems a protection to you. But look at it with the clear and lucid eyes of truth. That is all I ask you to do. You have nothing to fear from it. After you have evaluated the childish emotions, you will hold in your hand the key to growing up and integrating into a whole and healthy human being. You will soon discover the fallacy that there is a danger in becoming aware and in expressing childish emotions. There is only danger if you let it go without control, without the discipline of doing it with the specific aim of gaining from it a meaningful experience. It is not enough to say that there is no danger in such a constructive activity. It must be added that it is the only way to alleviate the danger of your insecurity and of your pretense, which you sense all the time and which makes you even more insecure and fearful of exposure. Deep inside, you know of your pretense, of your false maturity, of your idealized self-image. And you shake because you know it, and you think you defend it by continuing to close your eyes to it. You think you can whisk away the falsity by not acknowledging it. Actually, the truth is that you can grow out of the falsity only by, first of all, accepting its existence at the present time, owning up to it. Then and then only can you build a genuine self you can trust and rely on. Then you do not have to fear exposure.
所以，建立你的安全感。对原本就存在于你的东西变得有觉知，你没什么好怕的。哪怕你不去看它，它也不会停止存在。因而，对你来说，去看见、去面对、去承认你内在的东西，去认识它本来的样子，才是明智的。有一些人觉得越多了解自己的感受、越知道自己是谁，就越有害，都不如不去了解得好，这是极端愚蠢的。然而在某种程度上，这正是你们的所作所为。这正是你的防御机制阻止你接受和面对自己的本质。只有在面对你内在的东西之后，你更成熟的智力才能决定这些内在的行为模式是否值得保留。这并不是强迫你放弃一种看起来灵光的保护，但请你用真理的明眸来审视它。我要你做的无非如此，这中间你没什么好怕的。当你评估完这些幼稚的情感后，你就掌握了成长和融合为一个完整、健康的人的钥匙。你很快就会发现这样一个谬论：去意识到自己的不成熟情绪并把它们表达出来，是危险的。其实只有你不去控制地宣泄、不带着从它那里获得有益经验的特定目标去处理自己的情绪，才是危险的。仅仅指出这种建设性活动“没有危险”也还是不够的，必须补充的是，这是减轻你的不安全感、去除自我伪饰之苦的唯一方法。一直以来你都对自己的伪装心知肚明，它们使你更不安全、更害怕暴露。其实在内心深处，你知道你的伪装、你虚假的成熟、你理想化的自我形象。你战战兢兢，因为你什么都知道，只是你觉得继续对它视而不见，是在捍卫它。你以为你通过不承认就算是摆脱了虚伪。事实上，只有接受它的存在，承认它的存在，你才能走出它。唯其如此，你才能建立一个真正的自己，你可以信任和依赖的自己，届时你就不用再担心暴露什么了。
And now, my friends, let us consider this subject in the light of spirituality. You all have come with the original idea of growing spiritually. And I might say that more or less all of you, in addition to the genuine wish for spiritual growth, you hope to accomplish this without tending to your emotional growth. You want to believe that the one is possible without the other. Needless to say, this is a complete impossibility. In the course of this work and of the considerable success you have accomplished in the hard work of self-facing, sooner or later, all of you will reach the point where you have to make up your mind as to whether you really want emotional growth, or whether you still want to cling to the childish hope that spiritual growth is possible while you neglect the world of feeling by allowing it to lay dormant without you giving it the opportunity of growth. Let us examine this for a moment, my friends.
现在，我的朋友们，让我们从灵性的角度来考量这个问题。你们都是带着灵性成长的初心来的。我可以说，你们所有人或多或少，都在真诚地希望得到灵性上的成长，除此之外，你们还希望实现灵性成长又不用去顾及情感上的发育。你要相信鱼和熊掌皆有可能。不用说，这是完全不可能的。在这项工作的进程中，在面对自我的艰难功课中，你们已经取得了相当大的成功，早一点或晚一点，你们所有人都会走到这一刻，即你们必须下定决心，是否真的想要情绪方面的成长，或者你是否仍然抱着一个幼稚的希望，那就是在你忽视情绪世界、让它处于休眠状态、不给它成长机会的同时，灵性上的成长却是可能的。朋友们，让我们来研究一下这个问题。
You all know, regardless of what religion or spiritual philosophy or teaching, that love is the first and the greatest power. In the last analysis, it is the only power. Most of you have used this saying many times. But I wonder, my friends, have you realized that all along you have spoken words, just words, never knowing that you have used empty words, while all the time you have veered away from feeling, from experiencing, from the world of emotional reaction and experience! Now, how can you love if you do not let yourself feel? How can you love and at the same time remain what you choose to call "detached." That means remaining personally uninvolved. It means that you do not risk pain, disappointment, personal involvement. Can you love in such a comfortable way? If you numb your faculty of feeling, how can you truly experience love?
你们都知道，无论什么宗教、精神哲学或教义，爱都是最首要、最伟大的力量。归根到底，它是唯一的力量。你们大多数人都曾多次引述过这句话。但我想知道，我的朋友们，你是否意识到，你一直都在说着这话，说这些语词，却从不知道自己说的是空话：而事实上你一直在远离感觉、远离体验、远离情感反应和体验的世界！现在，如果你不让自己有感觉，你怎么能爱呢？你怎么能在爱的同时保持你所谓的“超脱”呢？这意味着个人不去涉入其中,这意味着你不能冒险去承受痛苦、失望和亲身投入。你能以这样舒适的方式去爱吗？如果你麻木了自己的感觉能力，你怎么能真正体验爱呢？
Is love an intellectual process? Is love a lukewarm matter of laws, words, letters, regulations, and rules you talk about? Or is love a feeling that comes deep from the soul, a warmth of flowing impact that cannot leave you indifferent and untouched? Is it not foremost a feeling, and only after the feeling is fully experienced and expressed will wisdom and perhaps even intellectual insight (as a by-product, so to speak) result from it? How can you hope to gain spirituality -- and spirituality, religion, and love are one -- by neglecting your emotional processes? Think about this, my friends. Begin to see how you all sit back, hoping for a comfortable spirituality that leaves your personal involvement in the world of feelings out of it. After you see this clearly, you will comprehend how preposterous this attitude is. Your conscious or unconscious rationalizations in still denying the awareness and expression of your emotions, even though they are at the moment still destructive to quite a degree, will take on a different light in your own eyes. You will look upon your resistance to do what is so necessary with a little more understanding and truth. Any spiritual development is a farce if you deny this part of your being. If you do not have the courage to allow the negative in you to reach your surface awareness, how can healthy, strong, emotions fill your being? If you cannot deal with the negative because it is out of your awareness, this very same negative element will stand in the way of the positive.
爱是一个智力的过程吗？爱是你所谈论的冰冷冷的律法、语词、书信、条例、规章吗？亦或，爱是一种发自灵魂深处的感觉，一种流动的、泌人的暖意，让你无法无动于衷？它不就是一种感觉吗，难道不是只在这种感觉被完全充分地体验和表达之后，智慧乃至理智的洞察力(可以说它是一种副产品)才会从它中产生吗？你怎么能指望通过忽视你的情感过程来获得灵性呢，灵性、宗教和爱是一体的。想想看，我的朋友们。请学着看到你们所有人是如何划地为牢的，你们希望得到“舒适的灵性”，把你的个人情感世界排除在外。当你看清这一点后，你就会明白这种态度是多么荒谬。你不允许自己觉察和表达自己的情绪，即使它们此刻仍在相当程度上具有破坏性，你还有意识或无意识为这些做法找理由，只有等到日后，你才会对这件事有另外的看法。届时你会有更多的理解、更充分的真相来看待你对做那些必要事情的抵制。如果你否认你存在的这一部分，任何灵性的发展都只不过是闹剧一场。如果你没有勇气让你内心的负面情绪到达你的意识表面，那么健康、强烈的情绪怎么能充满你的存在呢？如果你不能处理消极的东西，因为它是你意识不到的，同样的消极因素也会阻碍积极的东西。
Those of you who will now follow this path and do what is so necessary will first experience a host of negative feelings. But after these are dealt with and properly understood, warm, mature, constructive feelings will evolve. You will feel warmth, compassion, good involvement such as you never thought possible. You will no longer feel yourself being isolated. You will begin to truly relate to others -- in truth and reality, not in falsehood and self-deception. When this happens, a new security and respect for yourself will become part of you. You will begin to trust and like yourself.
你们当中，那些现在要循着这条道路、做那些必须之事的人，首先会经历大量的负面情绪。但在这些情绪得到处理和适当的理解之后，就会产生温暖、成熟和建设性的情感。你会感受到温暖、同情和美好的参与感，这是你从未想过的。你不会再觉得自己被孤立了。你将开始真正地与他人相处——在实相和现实中，而不是在虚假和自欺中。当这种情况发生时，一种新的安全感和对自己的尊重将成为你的一部分。你会开始信任和喜欢你自己。
And now, my friends, I'm ready for your questions.
现在，我的朋友们，你们可以提问了。
QUESTION: I would like to ask, how about the prophets or other holy people? Were they grown emotionally? Wasn't it just love they gave?
问：我想问，先知和其他圣人呢？他们在情感上成长了吗？他们给予出来的，不就只是爱吗?
ANSWER: Just love they gave? Could love be given without emotional maturity?
答：给的只是爱？没有情绪的成熟，能给出爱吗？
QUESTION: A faith in God and love, without emotional maturity?
问：会不会有一些人，他们对上帝和爱有信仰，但却没有成熟的情感？
ANSWER: That is impossible, if we speak about real love, the willingness to be personally involved, and not about the childish need to be loved and cherished which is so often confused with love. For real love and real, genuine faith to exist, emotional maturity is a necessary basis. Love and faith without emotional maturity is mutually exclusive, my child. The ability to love is a direct outcome of emotional maturity and growth. And true faith in God -- in the sense that I discussed it last time, in the sense of true religion as opposed to false religion -- is again a matter of emotional maturity because true religion is self-dependent. It does not cling to a father authority out of the need to be protected. False faith and false love always have the strong emotional connotation of need. True love and true faith come out of strength, out of self-reliance and self-responsibility. All these are attributes of emotional maturity. And only with strength, self-reliance, and self-responsibility is true love, involvement, and faith possible. Anyone who ever attained spiritual growth, known or unknown in history, had to have emotional maturity.
答：那是不可能的，如果我们这里说的是真正的爱。所谓真正的爱，就是个人涉入的意愿，而非被爱和珍惜的孩子气的需要，这种需要经常被混淆为爱。要使真正的爱和真正的信仰存在，情绪的成熟是必要的基础。孩子，没有情感成熟的爱和信仰是相互排斥的。爱的能力,是情感成熟和成长的直接结果。对造物者的爱，就我上次讨论过的意义而言，就真正的宗教而非虚假宗教而言——又是一个情感成熟的问题，因为真正的宗教是自我依赖。它不会出于被呵护的需要而依附于父亲的权威。虚假的信仰和虚假的爱总是有强烈的情感内涵，即需要。真正的爱和信仰来自于实力，来自于自我依赖和对自我负责。所有这些都是情感成熟的特征。只有拥有力量、自我依赖和自我责任，才有可能拥有真爱、投入和信仰。任何一个获得灵性成长的人，无论是历史上已知的，还是未知的，都必须有情感上的成熟。
QUESTION: If someone in this work finds very wild emotions going back to childhood, how is it possible to handle this and substitute it and let it disintegrate if one does not happen to have with him the other person who helps in this work? At the time -- let us say, twice a month -- when we have the opportunity to express it, we may not feel such emotions; while we strongly feel them at other times. If one is on one's own, what is the right way to handle it at the brink of the moment when these emotions come up?
问；如果走上这条情绪成长道路的人，感受到了那种来自童年时代的极其狂野的情绪，如果他/她身边没有可以提供这方面协助的人，他/她又怎么可能处理这种情绪并取而代之、并让它消融呢？当我们有机会表达的时候，比如说，一个月有那么两次，这样的情绪可能不出现；而我们在其余时间会强烈地感受到它们。如果一个人是独自一人，当这些情绪出现的时候，正确的处理方式是什么?
ANSWER: In the first place, it is significant if emotions only come out when one is not actively doing this work with the so-called helper. This in itself points to a strong resistance. It is the long, drawn out result of consistent repression. Due to such repression, the emotions that come out first will appear at inopportune moments and will be so strong as to confuse the person. But after a comparatively short time, with the inner will truly made up to face the self in its entirety, destructive emotions will not only appear at the proper time and in the proper place, but you will be able to handle them with a meaningful aim. This state points to resistance, repression, and the fact that inwardly struggle and hate still exist, and that manifest conflicts should be resolved while the basic defense mechanism is left untouched. If destructive emotions should govern you instead of your being able to govern them, without repression, it is a form of temper tantrum in which the psyche says: "You see, you have forced me to do this, and now see where this leads to." If such subtle hidden emotions can be detected, it will alleviate any danger of negative emotions taking on a power that the personality cannot handle.
答：首先，如果一个人仅仅是在未与所谓辅助者积极地做这方面功课时，情绪才会流露出来，这是很有意味的。因为它本身就指出了强大的抵抗力，它是长期持续压抑的结果。由于这种压抑，首先浮现出来的情绪会出现在不合时宜的时刻，并且会相当强烈，以至于让人不知所措。但在一个相对较短暂的时间之后，当内在意志真正地完整地面对自我时，破坏性的情绪不仅会在适当的时间和地点出现，而且你将能够带着一个有意义的目标来处理它们。这种状态指出了抵抗、压抑，以及内心的斗争和仇恨仍然存在的事实；这种显而易见的冲突应该得到解决，而基本的防御机制不会受到影响。如果破坏性情绪控制了你，而非你驾驭了它们，不再有压抑，这是一种发脾气的形式。在这种情形之下，你的心里在说:“你看，你逼我这样做的，现在看看这会有什么结果”。如果这种微妙的隐藏情绪能够被察觉，它将减少所有负面情绪变得让其本人无力处置的风险。
In the second place, it is important that you do not feel guilty about the existence of such emotions which are probably incompatible with the image you have of yourself. If you learn to accept the reality of yourself instead of your mistaken self-image, the strength of negative emotions will abate. Yes, you will of course experience negative emotions, but you will never fear that they can lead you toward a lack of self-control. Let me put it this way, the strong impact of negative emotions, to the degree of fearing that you are unable to handle them, is due not so much to their existence, per se, but due to the lack of acceptance on your part that you are not your idealized self. The negative emotions in themselves would be much less disturbing if you would not cling to the idealized self, struggling to give it up. Once you have accepted yourself as you now happen to be, and have made the inner decision to part with the illusion of yourself, you will feel much more at ease. You will become capable of experiencing negative emotions in a meaningful way that is growth producing. You will derive insight from them even if you are alone at the moment. Moreover, emotions will come up during working sessions and will yield even greater insight if they are expressed and worked with.
其次，重要的是，你不要因为这些情绪的存在而感到内疚，它们可能与你已存在的自我形象不相符。如果你学会接受真实的自己，而不是坚持错误的自我形象，负面情绪的力量就会减弱。是的，你当然会经历负面情绪，但你永远不用害怕它们会导致你失去足够的自制力。让我这么说吧：负面情绪的强烈影响，如果大到让你害怕自己无法应对它们，其原因与其说是由于它们的存在本身，还不如说是由于你的不接受，因为它们不是你理想中的自我。如果你不再执着于理想化的自我，不再挣扎着不肯放手，消极情绪本身就不会那么令人不安。一旦你接受了现在的自己，并在内心做出决定去与自己的幻觉分开，你会感到更加自在。你将有能力以一种有意义的方式体验消极情绪，这将促进你的成长。即使此刻你独自应对这一切，你也会从中获得洞察力。此外，情绪会在你做功课的过程中出现，如果你能表达出来并与之合作，它将会带来更深刻的洞见。
So I cannot give you rules to observe. I can only point to the reason behind this factor. If you truly absorb it, wish to understand it, and go on from there, this will help you a great deal. Of course, this is addressed to all of my friends.
故而我不能给你一些规则去遵守。我只能指出这些事实背后的原因。如果你能够真正吸收它，有理解它的意愿，并且以它为出发点（继续你的功课），它会给你很大的帮助。当然，对所有朋友而言都是如此。
QUESTION: That means that the emotions as such are not dangerous, but our disappointment in ourselves makes them so powerful or dangerous?
问：这意味着情绪本身并不是危险的，是我们对自己的失望使得那些情绪变得如此强大而且危险？
ANSWER: Yes, that is right. But they need not be dangerous if you do not want them to be. If inner anger is not properly understood and released in a constructive way, as you learn on this path, the so-called temper tantrum will take place, and the child in you will lash out, destroying others and the self. Find this lashing-out child, and you will be in control of evolving negative emotions without repressing them, but expressing them constructively and learning from them. Find the area in which you resent not being taken care of, etc., etc. Once you are aware of the reason for all this anger, you will be able to humor yourself because you see the preposterous demands of the child in you. This is the work you have to do in this particular phase. This is a very crucial and decisive milestone on your road. When you get over this particular hump, the work will proceed much easier. Again I repeat, this is a general explanation for all who may find this answer useful to their own problem. Whenever you are afraid of losing control, I advise you to think of the image you have of yourself, of what you think you should be, as opposed to emotions that come to the fore. The moment you see this discrepancy, you will no longer feel threatened by the negative emotions. You will be able to handle them. This is the best advice for you in this respect. Find in yourself the element where you are angry at the world for not allowing you to be your idealized self-image, where you feel it prevents you from being what you could be without its interference. Once you are aware of such emotional reactions, you will again come a great step forward.
答：是，这是对的。但如果你不想让它们危险，它们也不至于危险。如果内在的愤怒没有被正确地理解并以一种建设性的方式释放，正如你在这条道路上学到的，所谓的发脾气就会发生，你内心的孩子就会猛烈攻击，摧毁别人和自己。找到这个暴躁的孩子，你就能控制不断发展的负面情绪，但不是压抑它们，而是建设性地表达它们，并从中得到学习。在过往一些事情当中，你对自己没有被照顾到而感到不满，等等，找出这些事情。一旦你意识到所有这些愤怒的原因，你将能够幽默地对待自己，因为你在自己身上看到了孩子的荒谬要求。这是你在这个特定阶段要做的功课；这是你人生道路上一个非常关键和决定性的里程碑。当你克服了这个困难，下一步工作就会进行得容易得多。我再重复一遍，这是对所有可能觉得对自己问题有用的人的一般性解释。每当你害怕失去控制时，我建议你想想你的自我形象,就是你认为你应该是什么样子，对照你涌上来的情绪。当你看到这种差异时，你就不会再觉得受到负面情绪的威胁了，你将能够处理好它。这是在这方面对你最好的建议。在你自己身上找到让你生气的元素，因为这个世界不允许你成为理想的自我形象，你觉得它阻止了你成为那个你能够成为的自己。一旦你意识到这种情绪反应，你将再次向前迈进一大步。
You see, my friends, your misunderstanding is that you think the harm comes from the existence of the negative emotions as such. It does not. It comes from your nonacceptance of your real self, from the blame you throw into the world for not allowing you to be what you feel you could be if the world would let you. This is the nature of such strong, powerful emotions, and they can endanger you only as long as you are unaware of their nature. Therefore seek their meaning. Seek their true message, and you will never have to fear.
你看，我的朋友，你的误解在于，你觉得伤害来自于负面情绪的存在本身。不是的。它来自于不接受真实的自我，来自于你对这个世界的责备，因为它不允许你成为你认为你可以成为的人。这是这种强烈的、强大的情绪的本质，只有当你不知道它们的本质时，它们才会危及你。因此，寻找它们的意义。寻找它们的价值，你将永远不会害怕。
QUESTION: How can you be sure that I mean it when I say I love a person?
问：你怎么能确定当我说我爱一个人时，我是认真的?
ANSWER: My little son, I have this to say. You see, the human being is not just cut out of one piece. There are very many contradictory emotions possible. You may love a particular person, and then perhaps in the next moment, you may feel hatred or resentment. The fact that you do, does not make it untrue that you also love that person. It is not true that if you can occasionally feel hate, you never love and that you do not really feel love in other moments. Both are possible. You see, it is very important that a person understand why he occasionally feels hate while he also loves. The reason for such occasional hate is always a hurt. If you are hurt, know it. Know why. It will not harm you because the next step in your development will be that you realize your own lack of understanding causes the hurt and therefore the hatred. Then the next step will be, as you grow still more mature, that you will gain the understanding, and therefore you will no longer be hurt and will therefore not hate.
答：我的小儿子，我有话要说。你看，人类有很多面向，他可能同时会有很多矛盾的情绪。你可能会爱上某一人，然后在下一刻，你可能又会感到怨恨。你拥有这些恨意，并不表示你不爱这个人。如果你偶尔感觉到恨，并不意味着你没爱过，也不意味着在另外一些时候你没有真的感到爱。它们的同在，是可能的。你看，一个人明白为什么他偶尔会感到恨，但他也会感到爱，这是非常重要的。这种偶然的仇恨的背后原因，是一次伤害。如果你受伤了，你要知道，要知道为什么。等你发展到下一步阶段，你将会意识到，是你自己缺乏理解导致了伤害，以及仇恨；届时，它就不会再伤害到你。之后，下一步，当你变成更加成熟，你将会理解它，你将不再受到伤害，也将不再仇恨。
If, for the moment, you merely understand that your hate does not annul your love, you will not feel guilty. You will know that you are hurt and why. And therefore you will be able to say to yourself, "I love, and I mean it, but I also hate because I feel hurt."
如果，在那一刻，你知道你的恨不会消解掉你的爱，你就不会感到内疚。你会知道你受伤了，以及为什么。这样你就能对自己说：“我爱，我确实爱；但我也恨，因为我感到受伤了。”
As you grow in the way of this path, little by little, the negative emotions will disappear. But while they are still present, you must forgive yourself. And you can easily do so when you realize that you still love even while you hate, and that you hate only because you are hurt. You need not expect of yourself that you must always love and understand. No one can do that. But it can gradually come, very gradually. Hurt will grow less, and therefore love will grow more.
当你在这条道路上成长时，负面情绪一点一点地逐渐消失。但当它们仍在，你必须原谅自己。当你意识到即使你恨，你还是爱，你恨只是因为你受伤了，事情就容易了。你不必期望自己总能爱，总能去理解，没有人可以做到这个。但它可以逐渐实现，非常缓慢。伤害会越来越少，因此爱会越来越多。
QUESTION: In your answer to this young man and from what you said previously, it would seem that the emotions are a tremendous power factor, raging violently, unless channeled. They use the word sublimation in modern psychology. Does it not seem that sublimation is a way of channeling these energies along paths that will not be destructive, and then, as a result, we would stop reacting emotionally to circumstances and situations around us and sublimate them into the creative channels which you mentioned earlier.
问：从你给这个年轻人的解答中，以及从你之前所宣讲的来看，似乎情绪是一种巨大的力量，如果不加疏导，就会变得暴烈。现代心理学使用“升华”一词，难道升华不是一种引导这些能量的方式吗？将它引导到不再有破坏性，故而我们将会停止对周遭的情绪化反应，将它们升华到你早前提到的创造性渠道。
ANSWER: Yes, of course this is true. But in the past, I discussed the question of sublimation and I want to say briefly again that sublimation is very often a dangerous process because it is misunderstood, misused, and it leads to, and often actually means, repression. The necessity of channeling powerful destructive emotions exists, of course. But unfortunately, predominantly the wrong means are used. As I explained today, the means are those of repression, and therefore hindrance of growth occurs. Calling it sublimation because certain energies are constructively used, does not matter. It still is growth inhibiting if destructive energies are not resolved, but rather rechanneled so that they work constructively. This happens, for instance, if a creative and artistic person whose ability is freed to a degree anyway, when released, then uses repressed, unresolved emotional energies for the constructive purpose. It is true that this constitutes a lesser evil, but in terms of maximum potential of the person in question, he still functions way below his normal faculties then if he were to truly resolve his difficulties, wrong conclusions, and grow out of the powerful negative emotions. Then there will be no sublimation necessary. It will all be an organic, natural process.
答：是的，当然是这样。过去我讲到过升华的问题；我想再次简单说一下，所谓升华，通常是一个危险的过程，因为它被误解、误用了。它最终会导致，其实是它实际上通常意味着，压抑。当然，引导强大的破坏性情绪是必要的；但不幸主要在于，人们使用了错误的方法。就像我今天所解说的那样，人们解决它们的手段，就是压制，这反倒阻碍了成长。因为有一些能量被创造性的使用,就美其名曰“升华”倒也没关系。但如果破坏性能量没有得到解决，只不过是被用到了别的地方去发挥建设性的作用，那么这仍然是对成长的抑制。打个比方，如果一个有创造力、有艺术天赋的人，他的能力在某种程度上得到了发挥，在他发挥的时候，他把被压抑的、未解决的情感能量用于建设性的目的。诚然，这属于两害相权取其轻，但就这个人的最大潜能而言，他所发挥出来的，仍然远低于他的正常水准，也就是说，远低于他真正解决了他的难题、放弃错误的结论、并且走出强大的负面情绪之后所应该具备的能力。这就没有所谓“升华”的必要了。它将是一个有机的、自然的过程。
It is very easy to have the wrong approach in the question of controlling negative emotions. In the face of good intent to channel and to neutralize, one often resorts to repression and the crippling of an essential part of man's nature.
在控制负面情绪的问题上，人们很容易就付诸错误的做法。面对引导和压制背后的良好意图，人们往往诉诸压抑，继而损害人之本性中的一个核心部分。
You have a wonderful opportunity here, my friends, to make a side in you grow that has been neglected. With some to a greater degree than others, but all of you have to persist in working on this particular phase. You have caused entirely unnecessary hindrances in your life. You have a wonderful opportunity to remedy this very unfortunate mistake that infects the entire human race.
我的朋友们，你们在这里有一个绝佳的机会，让你们那长期被忽视的一面得以成长。有些人比其他人更努力，但你们所有人，都必须持之以恒在这个阶段做功课。你们已经给自己的生活造成了完全不必要的阻碍，你有一个绝佳的机会来校正这个影响全人类的至为不幸的错误。
With this, my dearest, dearest friends, I go from you. Blessings for each one of you. May you all gain further strength, further wisdom to conduct your life, your inner growth in such a way that you do not stand still. For this is the only thing that gives meaning to life -- to continuously grow. The better you accomplish this, the more will you be at peace with yourself. Blessings with all strength, love, and warmth are given unto you. Be blessed, be in peace, be in God!
我最亲爱、最亲爱的朋友们，我带着这个期待离开你们。祝福你们每一个人。愿你们所有人都能获得更多的力量、更多的智慧来指导你们的生活，让你们的内在成长不再停滞不前。因为这是唯一赋予生命意义的东西——持续地生长。你完成得越好，你就会越平静。你将得到全部的力量、爱和温暖。祝福你，愿你身心安顿，愿你与宇宙大化终成一体。
